Doo doo-doo-doo doo
Billy Dilley, we're subterranean
Billy Dilley, you're such a brainy kid
Billy Dilley, it's fascinating how
Billy Dilley, it's complicated now
Billy Dilley, situation critical
Billy Dilley, I hope it's fixable
Billy Dilley - ooooh
Billy Dilley
Can't you chuckleheads read? No con artists allowed!
Con artists? That doesn't necessarily mean us.
Beat it!
Ya chuckleheads!
- Well, guess it's boiled shoes again. - Dibs on the insole.
Bleah! Bleah!
Francis. I'm tired of living on under-seasoned footwear.
We can't even scam ourselves a piece of pie!
They even had pecan. What we need is a big score!
- Size thirteens! - No. I mean big big.
So big, we could have all the pecan pie we could eat!
It's my favorite.
Gee, it's not like an opportunity like that is gonna just hit you in the face.
What the... Old lady offering reward
for the return of long-lost nephew, Willie?
"If you return him safely to me, a great treasure awaits you.
"Love, Aunt Agnes." This is it!
All we have to do is pose as this long-lost nephew!
Well, how hard can that be?
If only we knew someone who resembled this nephew.
Leaves!
I can see you from my windowsill.
- Green is the color of your chlorophyll - Billy Dilley!
- What? - It is I, your glorious friend...
- Zartran. - Hi, Zartran!
I've come to you because someone needs your help.
- My help? - There is an old lady named Aunt Agnes
- who is very, very sad. - Sad?
But you, Billy Dilley, you could make her happy once more.
- I can? - All you have to do
is pretend to be her long-lost nephew, Willie.
- Will you help, Billy? - I willie will, Zartran!
Okay, Willie.
Ringest thou bell.
Yeah. That's me.
- Hello. - Good afternoon, Ma'am.
I am Zartran, and I have come to reunite you with...
- your long-lost nephew Willie! - Hi, Aunt...
- Agnes. - Yeah. Hi, Aunt Agnes.
Willie! My, how you've grown. Really, really grown.
Why, just last week you looked like this.
Yes, well,
there's a perfectly good explanation for...
I've been working on a donut farm.
- You have? - Well!
Aren't you just delicious!
Aha! Billy, I believe I see a donut on the lawn that needs harvesting.
I'm all over it, Zartran!
So, since said nephew has been returned safe and sound,
I believe you have a little sumthin-sumthin for me?
Of course! Aunt Agnes will be right back
with Mr. Zartran's treasure.
Treasure! That's exactly why we're here! To treat you to a day of fun and games
- that you'll treasure forever! - We are?
A day of fun and games?
Well, aren't you boys a couple of sweet peaches!
Come on in! Let's get this party started!
Bah-bah-boop-boop-boo-boo.
Remember the games we used to play, Willie?
What was that one you liked so much?
- Ring around the... - Rosie?
Rosie? No! The song we used to sing went,
Ring around the...
- Ring around the... - Hat rack?
Ring around the...
- Tea cozy? - Ring around the...
- Creepy doll face toilet roll cover? - What's gotten into you, Willie?
Are you even my long-lost nephew?
Let's try this, one more time!
Ring around the...
Barbarian?
You remembered!
Ring around the Barbarian
Loin cloths are very in.
Bashes! Clashes! We all fall down!
Well... ...I'd say Aunt Agnes
has had enough excitement for one day.
We don't want to put any undue strain on her.
The only strain on Aunt Agnes is from smiling
from having such a good...
It's working, Zartran!
- What do you want to play next, Agnes? - Please make it stop.
How about...
Paint the Barbarian.
Paint the Barbarian? Well, why didn't you say so?
This physique was made to be painted!
Say "Adorable Pink Bunny Man!"
No!
Boy, he sure was hungry.
Zartran, guess what I made?
It's a list of even more games we can play to make Aunt Agnes happy.
Spin the barbarian, pin the tail on the barbarian, roll the barbarian...
Enough! Egads!
Yeah. We bandaged your wounds with doilies.
That does it! Under seasoned footwear
is sounding pretty good right about...
- Wait. Is that... - Fresh pecan pie.
Fresh pecan pie?
With a flaky, buttery crust!
Tastes just like love.
You're like the nana, I never had.
This calls for more pie.
Nana? I have something I need to tell you.
- We have been conning you. - What was that, dearie?
I dressed my friend up like your nephew, Willie, so we could trick you
out of your treasure. But a beautiful creature like you
doesn't deserve any of that!
No one has ever said anything like that to me before.
- From the heart? - No! Into a tape recorder!
We have been conning you.
Nana? Your con artist career has come to a close,
Gregory P. Zartran.
This is Special Agent Aunt Agnes in the fly trap requesting backup.
- You mean, you're... - That's right! I'm The Fuzz!
- The Fuzz! - Hey, I got more pie...
Not now, Billy.
Aunt Agnes has some baking to do!
- Aunt Agnes? - Billy, help me!
Zartran!
Wha... Now why'd you go and do that, boy?
- Billy! What have you done? - She was going to hurt the barbarian.
Not that. You ruined the pecan pie!
Why? Why!
Criminals!
We have you surrounded!
- It's The Fuzz! - The Fuzz!
- Tell 'em we're gonna get 'em. - We are gonna get you!
Come out! Cool... ...Thanks, guys.
He did it. All him!
It was totally him! His idea! He conned her! It was all him! Not me.
Um, is this true, son?
If protecting my fair-weather friend from a sap-happy old bat is a crime,
then call me a criminal!
- Hey, keep it down over there. - They got you too?
Yeah, but not before I got...
the treasure!
Aunt Agnes's treasure!
Open it, Francis! Open it!
A decorative photo album?
A decorative photo album!
Memories are the greatest treasure of all!
Excusez-moi.
Look! There's you as a bunny.
- And there's you being velocirapted. - Those were special times.
- All right, chuckleheads. - Lunchtime!
Today we are offering boiled shoe.
Boy! Size thirteen!
You know, memories like these will last a lifetime.
You said it, Willie.
It's Billy.
Gotcha.
Yowzers! My berries are missing! Aha! Footprints.
That can only mean one thing, someone with feet stole my berries.
I'll get to the bottom of this if it's the last thing I...
My berry? There you are.
Hey!
Gimme back that...
All right, hand it over.
Bleah.
Okay. You can have half.
You're a Troggie! I've encountered the grownups of your species,
but never a little guy like you!
My name is Billy.
- Yucky! - Nice to meet you, Yucky.
Um... whoo!
I guess you've never seen a human before.
Ooh! Ooh! Yucky!
- Wow! A wart. - Hey?
Fascinating.
No way!
That's what I'm talkin' about!
- Do you mind if I try? - Um, Yucky.
Just one more!
Goawah. Yucky.
You have to go already?
But... But... Nice meeting you and spending time with you!
You too, Yucky!
That's it, it's over. I'm never gonna see anything that fun again.
I've peaked at age 12.
You are so right, Anaximander.
I've got way cooler stuff than that little old wart.
Here we go. An old piece of bread
with an entire civilization of mold living on it.
Or how about this thing? It's a...
A... I don't actually know what this thing is.
Who am I kidding?
I have to have that wart if I'm ever gonna be truly happy again!
I mean, Yucky probably doesn't even realize what he has.
A wart like that has special needs.
It requires love and attention. More love, more attention,
back to love again, and then attention,
and then still more love, and some more attention,
a little more love, and more attention, and love and some attention,
and love, and attention...
it needs love, it needs attention. I'm just gonna have to take it!
But taking it would be bad. Well, what if I just borrow it?
And then I can return it... eventually. That kind of sounds like stealing.
Or does it?
I'm just gonna have to do what's right, for me and for Yucky.
But mostly for me.
Bingo.
Wakey-wakey, little wart.
Sleepy-sleep, Yucky sleep. Sleep, sleep, sleep.
There you go, that's good.
Whee!
It's so beautiful!
Hey, Zeke!
You notice anything different about, Billy?
- There's a bump on your arm? - No, no, no, no. It's a wart.
Look. Look. Watch. Watch. Look.
Look. Watch. Look. Are you looking? Are you looking?
You wanna see it again?
Only if it means not looking at it, talking about it or acknowledging it
in any way.
Hold that thought, Zeke. Hello... No. Yucky!
Who's at the door, Billy?
Well, hello.
- Look, Billy. It's a little Troggie. - Why, so it is.
- Yucky. - He says his special wart is missing?
Don't get all goopsie-whoopsie.
We'll find something else to replace your missing wart.
Billy, are we still talking about your new wart?
- Yucky? - Billy's got a new wart? I wanna see!
Hey, now! Let's not go and say something that I'm gonna regret.
Billy!
Yucky!
Billy!
Yucky!
Everybody just take a breath.
- Yu... Yu... Yu... - Now, Yucky, isn't it true that your wart
- had two hairs? - Yuck, yuck.
Well, as you can plainly see, my wart has...
...one hair.
No need for tears, Yucky. You'll find your wart. You probably just dropped it
- somewhere, right? - Yucky?
It could be anywhere. You coulda dropped it in a,
...um...
Yeah! You coulda dropped it in a volcano for all we know, right?
- Yu-ucky? - You just gotta get back out there
and keep lookin'.
- Yucky. - Well, now that that's solved...
- ...off to bed for me. See ya. - Bed?
- Yeah, Zeke. It's 2:30 in the afternoon. - Yucky.
Man, hiding the truth from your friends is hard work.
But it sure is worth it!
Yucky...
Heck, you coulda dropped it in a volcano for all we know.
Yucky!
This picture is terrifying! But also....
He's in trouble! Terrible, terrible danger!
- Who? - Yucky! I gotta save him!
- Why? - Because I sent him to his doom!
What?
Yucky!
I'm too late!
Yucky! What have I done, and why?
This silly little wart...
No!
Without Yucky in my life, I don't want the wart anymore!
Goodbye, wart! Goodbye, Yucky!
Yucky?
Yucky!
You're not a smoldering pile of dusty ash!
Yeah. Your wart.
I am so sorry, Yucky. I borrowed...
No, I stole your wart in cold blood,
and then threw it into a volcano.
- Yu-ucky? - I'm a horrible friend!
Horrible! Horrible! Horrible friend!
- Horrible! - Yucky.
No, no, just a few more. Horrible! Horrible!
Horrible! Horrible! Horrible! Horrible friend!
Yuh-yuh-yuck-yuck-yuck-yuck!
Yuck!...Yucky!
Whoa! Back it up! This one's mine!
- Yucky! - No, no, no! You can come over
- and flick it and stretch it any time! - Yucky!
The wart stays on my head, ya understand?
Yucky!
I said you've got the wrong number For the right guy
I'll do a good job for you Just pay the price
Run, run, run away
- Baby, stick to the plan - Whoo, Whoo!
Run, run, run away, catch me if you can